A forced break
Today's meditation: Creating your peaceful sanctuaryI have said before that I'm more tired due to my kidney disease now than I had been. And yet I keep up. I still teach all my yoga classes, still take massage clients and keep working my full time job. Last week, though, I caught a cold. Usually when I feel like I'm coming down with a cold I take a day and rest, drink my echinacea tea and get lots of sleep. I find if I do that when it starts it doesn't progress. This time, though, I ended up with a nasty cold that lasted (I still have sinus pain). I cancelled a yoga class, cancelled 3 massage clients and took two days off work, didn't write on my blog - I dropped out for a few days. And then thought about all that I was going to do. It was too much. I know that I can't keep that kind of schedule anymore. And the universe knocked me on my ass and said not this time! Relax a little. Take a break. And I did. And I'm glad I did. I needed a break.I've often heard of people getting through exams and then getting sick over the holidays or similar situations. Your body letting you get through what you need to do before saying 'OK, time to rest'. For me I think it was more of a reminder - 'you are not at full capacity, stop acting like you are'. I've heard other people who have diseases or chronic pain, etc talk about this. Trying to keep pace just like when you were full of energy. And fighting the lack of energy; fighting what they truly need.I feel there's a shift happening in me right now. I have no idea what it's about or what the outcome is going to be, but it feels significant. The need to go inward and get in touch with my true self is strong these days after having struggled with my faith and my health and the lack of control I have over certain things. I feel like I'm tearing away some old unneeded beliefs as I go into a new growth period. A sense of cracks on the surface that are breaking apart to allow me to become what I need to be next. As I said, I have no idea what's coming, but I'm learning once again to trust the process. Allow life to unfold in it's time. And learning if you get knocked on your ass you should probably take a little time to reassess before you get back up again.