I Lost My Virginity

Dialysis virginity that is.
This week I started to feel nauseous and weak for a few days. I slept more than usual. So I got in touch with the nurse practitioner that I work with at the renal clinic and we decided it was time to start dialysis. My function dropped again, the creatinine was the highest it's ever been. It was time. I guess if I'm going to be a proper kidney disease patient it had to happen eventually 😉
The nurse practitioner had me come to see her first and she discussed the procedure and showed my sister and I how the blood would be filtered and explained there would only ever be about a cup of blood out of my body at a time. She showed us the equipment and answered all of our questions. My sister had technical questions, I wanted to know if I could eat and drink. Priorities!
We went to the floor where there are 36 patients receiving dialysis at any given time. They do it in shifts, morning, afternoon and evening and they're open between 7am and 11pm. There are 400 patients on dialysis and only about 20 % are eligible for transplant. I'm one of the lucky ones. It's likely I won't be long term there, but there are some who have been on dialysis for 20 years. Wow!
The nurse putting the needle in (they have a fancy name for that but I don't recall) said "I'm not gonna lie this is going to hurt". And it did. Surprisingly so. My fistula is a 'baby fistula' in this world so the vessels are super tough yet. Despite the fact that I'm on my hands doing yoga all the time and exercising them when I massage people. So there were issues with getting the needle in the proper place. My veins are very close to the surface and I don't have a lot of meat on my arms so keeping the needle in place seemed to be a bit of an issue. The first try didn't take. The blood flow wasn't strong enough so they needed to ice the site for a half hour or so and try again. After much propping and prodding and loads of warning not to move my arm at all, it started. So for the next 2 and a half hours I sat pretty still chatting with my sister and looking at my iPad. This was a shorter session to start off, a light dialysis. They expect it would reduce my creatinine levels by half. Amazing!
The nursing staff in the unit are very kind and knowledgeable. They have all the answers and they have the routine down to a science. The nurse practitioner was very good for putting everything in layman's terms when someone said something I didn't understand. I felt like the nurse practitioner was really there as my advocate.
Although this certainly isn't where is wanted to be, and the thought of 3 days a week starting at - gulp - 8 in the morning (I'm really not a morning girl haha) is not appealing I'm comforted that the folks in the unit are caring, lighthearted and skillful. And I'm incredibly grateful to be one of the patients that is likely short term. Plus, I don't have to go for blood work anymore, they do it all there. Silver lining.
I'll be better prepared next time. Here are some tips if you ever need to do this:
- Pee before starting
- Bring a bottle of water
- Bring a snack and have it in the first hour (so digestion isn't interfering with the dialysis)
- Say yes to the blanket because it will get chilly even if it doesn't start that way
- Bring a book or something to do (or a sister if you have one!)
Be prepared for stillness, while surrounded by noise. It's an active place. There are alarms and bells and what not. Usually it isn't your alarms. You can't really type (or I can't because of being still) so my thoughts of doing some writing while there are off, unless it's writing with pen and paper, which can be quite nice actually.
All in all, it's not so bad. Yes, I can think of better ways to spend my time. But, I will have more time to reflect on my life so far, and more time to develop a plan for life after a transplant.