“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”~ Ernest Hemingway
I've had a rough week. I spent much of Wednesday walking around like a zombie, as if someone sucked the life right out of me. Shocked. I spent much of my morning yesterday in tears; the shock had worn off.Why the drama? Someone that I trusted and believed in broke that trust. And while I probably should not have been so shocked by the breach of trust, I was quite surprised by my own reaction to it. I've pondered this for the last couple of days and I believe it's really about expectations. I expected that when I treated this person with respect and trust that he would reciprocate. The fact is that I have no right to expect this of another person. The only person in my life that I have any control over is me. I cannot expect others to live up to some standard that I have. Sometimes people behave in ways that they have learned because they simply do not know any other way.
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”~ Friedrich Nietzsche
As part of my meditation today I will practice compassion and I will remember that everything that happens in life presents an opportunity for growth and learning. I will be grateful for my lesson in this situation and know that when I temper my own expectations I will not be disappointed. I will continue to cultivate equanimity in my own mind, knowing all too well that I, too, am human, and there will be times that I hurt but through my spiritual practice perhaps I hurt a little less and not for quite so long.